The Secret to Getting What You Want

Posted: February 21, 2014 in balance

#ptsd #posttrauma #trauma #bully

GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
The Secret to Getting What You Want
Take a moment to answer the following question:

What do you want?

What do you want for yourself for the next 30 days? 90 days? 12 months? 5 years?

Pay particular attention to how you chose to respond to the above question. It’s important and it reveals to you something you may or may not have been aware of.

If it’s okay with you, I’d like to share with you my personal experience first and then we’ll come back to your response to the question.

I have a wonderful friend. He’s wonderful because he’s asked me the same question multiple times and has highlighted to me several times over the past twelve months that I’m quick to tell him what I don’t want but I often struggle with saying what I do want.

My problem has been getting crystal clear with what I actually want and then articulating it. Ever experienced that challenge before? If you have then welcome to the club. You’re definitely not alone.

Let’s contrast this with a young child for a moment. A few months ago I was hanging out with some friends in the beautiful Hunter Valley region of Sydney, Australia, and I observed how their 2-year-old daughter and 3-year old son were very clear with what they wanted, and they weren’t afraid to ask for it. In fact, when they didn’t get what they wanted they simply repeated the request, again and again… and again.

Photo Credit: juhansonin via Compfight cc

Then if they still didn’t get what they wanted they started crying or screaming until they either got what they wanted (many parents would give in around this point) or they didn’t. My point is — kids are fantastic with asking for what they want, and then being persistent until they get it.

So now I’m practicing the art of asking for what I want, more clearly and more often. A couple of months ago I experimented with this idea. I wanted to make an impact to seven lives that month so I made a post on my blog asking for 7 pay-what-you-can coaching clients to work with me and amazingly nine people applied. It worked!

Successful people ask for what they want, not what they don’t want.

So how did you choose to respond to the original question? Did you respond with what you want or what you don’t want? How you replied reveals where your focus is, and where you focus determines your experience of reality.

If your response was, for example, “I don’t want stress” what does that tell you about where your focus is? It’s on the experience of having stress! Instead you could shift your focus to “I want peace and relaxation.” See how that shift in language and focus creates a completely different experience?

Successful people ask for what they want repeatedly until they get it. They don’t give up.

You may have heard it before — persistence is the key to success. Just like the child earlier who repeatedly asked for what she wanted the more we ask for what we want, the more that we demand it, the more likely it is that we will receive it. Try it out.

So let’s ask you one more time. What do you want?

I’d love to hear your response. Share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below.

Boise Bipolar Center, Charles K. Bunch, Ph.D, Boise Idaho Therapist Mental health photo 2168_zps680c452f.jpg


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