Stop Being an Askhole and 6 Other Things to Stop Doing Starting Today

Posted: March 4, 2014 in balance

#ptsd #posttrauma #trauma #bully

GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Stop Being an Askhole and 6 Other Things to Stop Doing Starting Today
As a peak performance coach, one of the things I provide to my clients are ways they can drastically improve their lives. Not next year, or even a month from now. But, starting today. That’s the impetus for this article. I hope you’ll read it, and follow the suggestions that apply to you.

1) Stop being an askhole — What’s an askhole, you ask? It’s a word that’s come up recently to describe someone who ask for your advice but never follows through on it. That in itself is aggravating enough, and you shouldn’t do it. I’d add to the definition the person who always wants free consulting, coaching, or advice. Think about it. What has the person you’re asking done to be able to give an informed opinion to begin with? Myself, I’ve invested tens of thousands of dollars, and hundreds of hours of training time to get to the point that I can give an educated answer. Why should I just give it away for free? If you think I should, then you’re an askhole.

2) Stop complaining — People do it all the time. It’s too hot, it’s too cold, the bed is too soft, it’s too hard. They complain about the way things are now, and the way things were back then. The bottom line is, there’s a whole lot of complaining happening on a daily basis. Here’s the thing, though. Most people don’t want to hear your complaints, and whenever you do it they tend to avoid you. Or, if they can’t, they sure would like to. Are there legitimate times to complain? Of course there are. What I’m talking about here, though, is being a chronic complainer. Someone who complains all the time. Just don’t do it. Your life will be better for it.

3) Stop being ungrateful — This one gets me. How anyone can walk around without being grateful for the things they have is just beyond me. If you have two healthy legs, just the fact that you can walk is something huge. Or, if you can see, your eyesight is a true blessing. I could on and on, but you get the point. Here’s my challenge to you. Write out a list of 100 things that you’re grateful for. This will make you look at things you may have been taking for granted. When you begin to look at them as gifts instead, your attitude will improve as a result.

4) Stop giving up — One of the things that prevents people from achieving all they are capable of is they give up. They just quit. And while there may be other reasons for calling it quits, it’s usually because the benefits of achieving the goal don’t outweigh the pain it takes to accomplish it. That’s why it’s so important to be clear about “why” you are doing what it is you’re doing. The stronger your “why” is the less likely you’ll quit. Make this a priority when setting your goals, and you’ll be much more likely to reach them.

5) Stop making New Year’s resolutions — I’m always amazed at the number of people who believe that New Year’s Day has some sort of a special power in it. Because of this belief, they set a resolution on that day and then work on it for a couple of weeks. Most then realize it’s too tough and quit. They then wait until the next year to set the same resolution all over again. Why? Listen to me. You don’t have to wait for the new year to do something you want to do. Every day can be a new year for you, as far as that goes. Don’t wait! Do it now.

6) Stop wanting/expecting everyone to like you — There aren’t many guarantees in life, but one thing you can rest assured of is this. Not everyone is going to like you. No matter what you do, or how you do it, someone, somewhere is not going to like it. Or you. I know that can hurt to hear, but it’s the truth. It often says more about them than you, if that’s any solace. So, what should you do in this situation? How about focusing on all the people who do like you, and letting the other one’s go. Your life will be much easier if you do.

7) Stop comparing yourself to others — One of my favorite quotes is one from President Theodore Roosevelt. He said: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Read that again, let it sink in, and see its simple, but profound truth. When we look at others and compare our life to theirs it can be easy to forget how great ours is. And, don’t forget, much of what you see (especially in the world of social media) is not reality anyway. Don’t assume what’s shown is a true representation of the way things are. Oftentimes, it’s not. People tend to display their best parts only. Remember that next time you’re thinking someone else’s life is so much better than yours.

Boise Bipolar Center, Charles K. Bunch, Ph.D, Boise Idaho Therapist Mental health photo 2168_zps680c452f.jpg

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s